Learning to say goodbye

If I had to put my finger on the one thing that bugs most people, causes more problems in people's lives and more emotional, physical and spiritual discord it would be this: other people!

In twenty + years of practicing medicine I have listened over and over to people complain about other people. The most common complaint I hear would boil down to this: They just won't behave the way I want them to!

Now no one actually comes out and says this. What you get is a litany of complaints instead about reactions, behaviors, responses, lack of responses and overall multiple reasons why one or more people is making the selected individual miserable.

If only they would be the way I want them to be and then I could be happy.

A scary thought isn't it?

Needing someone to behave a certain way for you to be happy!

My advice to these folks is "don’t hold your breathe and learn to say goodbye and good luck."

It is very rare that anyone will permanently modify their behavior willingly to suit another person.

Those that try usually get bitter and miserable themselves and ultimately find that there is really no end to the need to change for someone else once you have tried.

Now goodbye is a tough thing and not always possible. After all we are pretty much stuck with some of our family members. In those situations you pretty much have to simply accept them as they are. I'll tell you one thing: at least they're consistent.

I think goodbye is an underutilized word in our lives.

Loyal, determined and persistent beings that we are, we tend to cling too long to things and people that no longer serve us.

I am all about evolution personally and I will tell you that as life changes so do relationships.

Not always for the better.

Your goal is to be happy in your world, not to change the worlds of others so the world looks the same for everyone. It will never work anyway.

Sometimes goodbye is the best thing you can do for everyone involved.

Remember this. When you say goodbye be thankful to the person you are saying goodbye to even if it's painful, sad or angering.

Like it or not they were part of your evolution. Hey, at least you know what you don't want!

Doc