Baseball To Sell Approved Supplements

The news from Sports Illustrated is that MLB teams will start selling supplements to players in an effort to prevent positive drug tests.

Hello!

Anybody in the Commissioner's office ever heard of Dr. Dave?

Management and the players association hired NSF International to certify that supplements are clean. When certified clean, MLB teams will buy the products and make them available for resale to the players.

Hello!

I have clean, 100% clean products on the shelf. 100% natural supplements.

Can I get an amen from NSF?

Last time I checked, old Bud Selig was in real need of
some of my Instant Einstein. He could even pass some
to his pal Jerry Reinsdork, er Reinsdorf.

They could donate a case to the Washington, D.C., city council, who are doing their level best to run baseball out of the nations capitol.

They could all use some fish oil and Cholesterol Bomb too. There are a lot of very long lunches in Washington.

The MLB players could use Instant Endurance, Super Multi Vitamin, Hercules Factor, Super Omega 3, and Sleep Wizard.

They could pass any steroids test with flying colors. They wouldn't have to worry about a 50 game suspension without pay. They wouldn't have to buy
anything out of the country and bring it in. I don't have anything called "The Clear."

Now you will get "clear" if you use Instant Einstein, but it doesn't work as a muscle rub, or enhancer.

Come on now, don't make me start shouting.

MLB needs Dr. Dave, but apparently they don't know it yet.

Lawyers are advising the players, a book has been written and distributed to them, and a video has been
shot, distributed, and watched by all MLB players on what is, and what isn't allowed by the rules.

If MLB had just contacted me, they could have saved a ton of money on legal fees, publishing fees, video production fees, and distribution fees. I would gladly have explained the do's and don'ts of supplementation and good health for next to nothing.

A couple of good seats to watch the Phil's a couple of times a year, and free parking. That's all I would have asked for.

And World Series tickets.

That's it.

Well, maybe a Roger Clemens autographed jersey and ball.

That's it. Now I'm finished. Gotta answer the phone.

"Dr. Dave here."

"Dr. Dave, Big Stein here."

"Geeoorrrge!"

There are no lawyers, books, or videos at the Dave Cave. Just place your order now, and we'll ship it out prontissimo.

All the best,


Doc

P.S. No word yet whether this will be the same deal as the NFL: Last I checked, to get certified you had to "donate" $50,000 and be doing at least 50 million in sales to get the stamp of approval. Now that we've identified this as a "pay to play" moneymaker, can NASCAR be far behind?

Hmm, maybe I could start with Olympic curling. They couldn't want more than a few thou to support the team right?