You Know There's A Problem When

I was reading the newspaper this morning and was just about ready to move on when something unusual caught my eye.

The headline: Lack of Coke Emphasizes Zimbabwe Crisis.

I must tell you upfront that I don't spend much time reading about foreign affairs. About the only thing I know about Zimbabwe is that when I was in school it was called
Rhodesia.

A friend of mine tells me today that Zimbabwe has been run for many years by a Marxist intellectual named Robert Mugabe, who has spent twenty five plus years returning the country to the 16th century, or worse.

There are critical shortages of electricity, gasoline, food, fertilizer, medical supplies, and other essentials. Three million people have been receiving emergency food aid, and more agricultural shortfalls are predicted. Less than half of the nation's farmland is under cultivation, and that is jeopardized by a lack of irrigation equipment.

But to top it all off, now there is no Coke. The number one selling soft drink in Zimbabwe is nowhere to be found. Things are so bad that Coca-Cola can't get the secret syrup into the country. Even during the seven year civil war in the 1970's there was no problem finding Coke anywhere in the country.

Coke has now become a leading economic crisis indicator.

Following this logic, another African country will soon plunge into famine, and starvation.

I'm going to try and get some Instant Einstein to Chairman Bob. After a few days on the Instant Einstein he will have that "clear focused moment" when he realizes that his twenty five year plan is in shambles, his country is a mess, and his people are on the brink of starvation.

For Heaven's sake, Chairman Bob, you know you have a problem when there isn't any Coke!

You have a much bigger problem. Your brain really needs some Instant Einstein and fish oil.

Your lack of Coke may be a great blessing to your people. It may be the only humanitarian aid you ever provide them.

We could stand a little of that kind of humanitarian aid in this country!

All the best,

Doc