Paris Hilton and Mardi Gras

Ah, the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Why do we love them so or hate them so for that matter?

I have always taken a live and let live attitude towards these people.

Or perhaps it's mind over matter: I don't mind because, in my life, they don't matter.

Still should we not have some pity for a celeb that has no privacy and no real private life at all?

After all look what they did to Lady Di.

But Paris Hilton may be another matter.

Right now the latest faux pas is the alleged possession of 18 diaries describing in detail all kinds of nitty gritty, dirt bag stuff done dirt cheap with who knows who by an Arizona based smut broker.

Wanna find out what's in 'em?

All you have to do is find the sleaze that has this and many other items including the Mardi Gras beads she allegedly wore in one of several videos whilst starring in her own homemade version of Dallas does Paris.

Speaking of Mardi Gras, we're a bit surprised Paris wasn't the star of the show. Although there is always the chance she'd show up at a FEMA tent instead of this year's changed parade routes.

Anyway if you are a Parisite, Sleaze broker David Hans Schmidt will part with the contents of a self storage locker that became a veritable Pandora Hilton's box of self recorded dirt on the starlet who parties for a living.

The starting price: 20 million.

Come on, Paris, if you are as hurt and upset as you say, you can afford to pony up; after all it's all going to be on the internet soon anyway. May as well own the distribution rights.

Well, we here at Dr Dave's Best think the dear little girl needs a healthy slug of Instant Einstein and surely a dose of Instant Endurance to keep up with the wild life style she seems to adore.

I offer you my version Paris' "notes to self" to be found in the next diary she starts.

1) Take Instant Einstein daily

2) Remember combination to storage locker

3) Don't forget to pay storage locker bill on time

4) Stop filming self with boyfriends and then acting hurt when films are discovered...Unless running low on cash.

5) Make sure own people "discover" the contents of next locker and control distribution of contents

6) Save up 20 mill and keep in reserve for next U store it clerk in case own people forget fish oil and Einstein

7) Make sure next replacement for lost dog knows who you are before announcing you found your dog

8) Study Kabala more in depth

Paris' understanding of the Kabala is apparently limited. When asked what it means to her she replied something to the effect of, 'The Kabala teaches you not to get upset. Like if some girls steals my clothes and wears them to a party I shouldn't freak out about it.'

Now that is unique.

On second thought I might have to raise the daily limit of Instant Einstein from 6 capsules twice a day to a whole bottle just for you dear.

In the end, some of us ask why celebs do the things they do.

I have a very simple answer that goes as deep as Paris' understanding of religion.

Because they can.

Don't wanna wind up forgetting something important?

Don't wanna become a Parisite?

Take your fish oil and Einstein every day.

Remember, weight gain over the holidays is an all too common problem. Statistics show a predicted 1.5 billion pound weight gain for Americans from Dec through April.

Don't be a statistic. Stay on your Fish Oil and Regenerizer and stay healthy and trim.

And don't forget to load up on Cardio Boost to keep your lactate thresholds down.

"Others will copy but none compare!"

Best,

Dr Dave